Interview: If Not for Me, Finding the Light in the In-Between
- Tara Lakatos
- 3 hours ago
- 8 min read
The Pennsylvania band If Not for Me talks experimentation, vulnerability, touring realities, fan connection, and Where the Light Begins to Fade.
Interview with Patrick "Patty" Glover (vocals), Hayden Calhoun (guitar), Zac Allen (bass) and Cody Frain (drums).
Interviewed by Tara Lakatos
Q: The title Where the Light Begins to Fade feels like a very specific moment—not total darkness, but the point where things start to change. What does the title mean to you?
IF NOT FOR ME: The title actually came from a line in “Retrograde.” The record doesn’t have one consistent story running through it; this was an album where we experimented with a lot of different things, and I didn’t want to put myself in a box with the subject matter. When we were brainstorming album names, that line just kept sticking out. Our label sent over suggestions too, and it was one of them. It felt like the one. I think it encapsulates the album really well.
Q: This may be your most versatile record yet. Did making it help define what an If Not For Me song is, or make that definition even harder?
IF NOT FOR ME: I think on the last record, Everything You Wanted, we really figured out what If Not for Me was. This record was more about experimenting with how we make songs, who we write with, and exploring that sound more deeply. We learned a lot during this album cycle, and I think the record gives us room to do even more in the future.
Q: You worked with several producers that helped cowrite. How did bringing those outside voices into the room shape the songs?
IF NOT FOR ME: It’s a very collaborative process, and you can sometimes hear a producer’s influence on a song. You can definitely hear the Point North influence on something like “Pray for Me.” That’s part of what makes it fun. We can work with bands, producers, and writers whose music we already like, let some of what they do rub off on us, and then put our own touch on it. It’s a really fun way to write songs.
Q: You were also balancing the writing process with a heavy touring schedule. How did that affect the record?
IF NOT FOR ME: The biggest impact was learning how to balance everything. This was the first time we had to write a record in between heavy touring. We’d get home from tour, then a week later go somewhere to write, come home again, and then head back out. It probably affected our personal lives and the way we learned to navigate the schedule more than it changed the actual writing.
Q: Which song changed the most from the original demo to the version listeners hear on the album?
IF NOT FOR ME: “Broken Throne” and “Lie Awake” changed a lot. Zach and Hayden did full instrumental passes where almost everything changed from the original demos. Those are probably the biggest examples.
Q: There are several collaborations on the album. How do you decide when a song needs another voice, and how did those features come together?
IF NOT FOR ME: A lot of it was pretty organic. With Wind Walkers and Catch Your Breath, it was basically: our friends are in really cool bands, they’re doing great things, so let’s do a song together. Taylor Barber was in the studio with us while we were writing “Say It to My Face,” and he was really helpful with the song. He was working out an idea for the breakdown and joked that he might as well be on it. We called the label, asked if we could make it happen, and it did. That one especially happened very naturally.
Q: The album moves between deeply personal material and songs that are more fun, cinematic, or immediately catchy. Was sequencing important in keeping that balance?
IF NOT FOR ME: Absolutely. I want an album to ebb and flow. I’m not a big fan of having one half of a record filled with songs that all sound similar and then having the other half feel completely different. I want the journey to flow all the way through, so I put a lot of thought into the track listing. At the same time, I didn’t want to box myself in lyrically. I wanted personal songs, but I also wanted to write about things outside of myself and subjects I hadn’t explored before.
Q: “Unholy,” for example, has a horror-movie quality to it. Was writing outside of your own experience creatively freeing?
IF NOT FOR ME: Yeah. Sometimes it’s fun to write scenarios—to approach a song almost like you’re writing a movie or building a story instead of always writing directly about personal relationships or something that happened to you.
Q: On the other end of that spectrum, which song was the hardest to hand over to the rest of the world?
IF NOT FOR ME: Probably “Broken Throne” or “Save Me.” “Broken Throne” is especially personal because it deals with religious trauma and the way I was raised. My family initially took it as an attack against them, which wasn’t what I meant at all, so there were conversations around that. “Save Me” is also a very personal story, but I don’t think it’s so personal that other people can’t relate to it. There’s a lot in there that listeners can see themselves in, and that was important to me.
Q: If someone listened to Where the Light Begins to Fade front to back without knowing anything about If Not For Me, what would you hope they understood about the band by the end?
IF NOT FOR ME: Hopefully they’d hear that we genuinely enjoy what we do and that we write music we actually want to listen to instead of trying to fit into a mold. There’s a lot of diversity and dynamics on this album, and a lot of it comes from personal stories and real experiences. We want it to feel genuine and authentic. Genre can become such a rigid thing, and it doesn’t have to be. We can have something super heavy like “Unholy” and then have “Lie Awake,” which is much poppier, right next to it. If we think a song is fun and we all believe in it, we’re going to write it.
Q: You recently held an album release event in Harrisburg where fans heard the record in an intimate setting. What was it like watching those reactions in real time?
IF NOT FOR ME: We were nervous because we had never done anything quite like it before. We did a track-by-track format with questions between songs, and we had never really done a VIP or meet-and-greet experience like that. It ended up being incredibly special. You could see people hearing songs for the first time and immediately connecting with them. Some people cried. Others shared heartbreaking stories about why a song resonated with them. Normally, someone tells you after the fact that a song hit a nerve. This time, we knew everyone was hearing it for the first time, and they knew we were watching that reaction happen. There was a really fun sense of intimacy to it.
Q: When you’re preparing for a tour, what does that process look like behind the scenes?
IF NOT FOR ME: For some of us, it’s listening to the songs constantly, getting back into the headspace, and doing a couple of rehearsals together. A lot of the performance itself comes from adrenaline. On the production side, there’s much more happening weeks in advance—building the set in the computer, programming guitar tones and lighting, making sure everything works and that the production follows the songs. Then, somehow, the actual packing still happens at the last minute.
Q: People see the show, but they don’t always see how many jobs a smaller touring band is doing at once. What is the reality of keeping a tour moving?
IF NOT FOR ME: There are always last-minute curveballs. Every tour is different, but in some ways it’s always the same question: what problem are we going to deal with today? If people understood all of the logistics and behind-the-scenes work, it would be eye-opening. It’s insane how many things you have to know about other things just to play drums. You have to adapt constantly.
Q: You’ve had some extreme examples of that—like merch getting stuck in transit. How do you handle something that can directly affect whether a tour works financially?
IF NOT FOR ME: We had a tour where our entire merch shipment was stuck in postal limbo for about two and a half weeks. We went to craft stores every morning, bought every black shirt we could find, and made shirts ourselves so we had something to sell. Merch is important to the fans, but it’s also how you pay people and keep the tour moving. You can’t just go two weeks without it. You adapt, roll with the punches, or everything can fall apart very quickly.
Q: After all of those logistical headaches, what still makes touring worth it?
IF NOT FOR ME: Playing the shows, hanging out with our friends, and connecting with fans through something we love. That’s what makes all of it worth it. We get to play these songs, meet people who care about them, and tour with bands we genuinely like. That’s always what we look forward to.
Q: Your music has also been getting significant airplay on SiriusXM Octane. How do you think about the way listeners consume music now, especially with singles being released so steadily?
IF NOT FOR ME: People don’t necessarily have the same bandwidth for full albums that they used to. From a business standpoint, continuing to release singles keeps people engaged longer. As far as radio rotation goes, we don’t worry too much about people getting tired of a song. A lot of people are listening while they’re driving to work or doing something else, so even if a song is in heavy rotation, it isn’t necessarily being consumed the same way every time.
Q: Has Octane introduced the band to a different audience?
IF NOT FOR ME: Definitely. Octane reaches a completely different group of listeners than some of the people who find us through streaming or TikTok. As we’ve played more shows around the country, we’ve met a whole separate fan base that found us through Octane. They buy tickets, come to shows, buy merch, and support the band. Being able to reach that demographic has been a game changer for us.
Q: The path to breaking a band has changed dramatically with TikTok and other digital platforms. How do you view that shift?
IF NOT FOR ME: Back in the day, the way to break through was to be road dogs—road warriors playing as many shows as possible. Now somebody can put something on TikTok, have it take off overnight, and suddenly land a huge tour that a band doing DIY touring for 10 or 15 years might never have gotten. It can be frustrating, but part of staying relevant in this industry is learning how to adapt and play the game. It’s a completely different market now.
Q: So, after all of the experimentation, touring, and growth around this record, what do you hope listeners ultimately take away from Where the Light Begins to Fade?
IF NOT FOR ME: We hope it brings in people who are hearing us for the first time, while still giving longtime listeners something that feels like a level up for the band. More than anything, we want people to connect with the songs. When somebody tells us they genuinely got something out of a song, that means a lot. That connection is always the most important part.
Where the Light Begins to Fade is available now.
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